i feel so confused.
im at a lost of what to do. i need God here now. i just can carry on keep my feelings for you to myself, i practically going crazy! people tell me to just let go of her but each time i try to part of me feels empty. spaces that cannot be filled up. i try to get on by just soaking myself in all the activities so that i'll just get my mind if all these problems. after all these time, well i guess that you should know to but, maybe we're better off mute.
i look to God for his will in my life, in his time, he has made all things beautiful in his time. to wait or not to wait? that is the question.
i wanna scream cos i just cannot make up my mind in anything, why am i so fickle-minded. problems are meant to make you stronger but it seems that these problems are just draining me out.
maybe i just sort it all now.
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four days ago i camp back from a jungle expidition in malaysia.
an expidition which i was required to go thru for course. in a totally unfamiliar terain my team and i started trekking. walking thru wonders that you would never see here in singapore. thru rushing rivers filled with leeches, up a mountian so steep, down it like a silde and ending up all covered in mud. walking thru 3 thunderstorms and barving the rians and winds, climbing up a waterfall and walking in the dark.going up and down ridges and slipping like no ones business. pitching a tent in the middle of nowhere and suffering from jungle sickness. swallowing river water filled with mud and stuff and washing up in the dark with limited water and no sanitation.
all these things taught me one thing.
a christian life, is just like that, you start out well but fall somehow. but God is faithful and he is there for you when you fall and leads you on. when you have nowhere else to go he provides refuge for you. everything is in his hand and in his time.
also, never ever take for granted the comforts. but when you have no comfort. there is One who will comfort you.
well i guess its all settled(i guess!?!?)
i will wait for His time and in His will
`
iloveyoumorethenyoulleverknow
